I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
