Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
