i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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