hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
We smell like vodka and hangover
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
