is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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