Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
