Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
