We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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