Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
