I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
