You really coming over, don't trick.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Randomize
