Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
