is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
