just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
