I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
