I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
