She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
