she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
