Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
so much tequila, so little girl.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
