pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
