Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
