Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
