so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
