She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
