i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
