Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
