ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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