can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
