I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
