Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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