Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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