I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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