youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
ok first of all what the fuck
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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