Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
