I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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