The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
