Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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