You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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