Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
