There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
