so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
