At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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