I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
