Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
There r osticjed everywhere
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
