She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You took a bar mat shot.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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