Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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