It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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