maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
