I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
