I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
