sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
