the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
sex in a hospital.. check
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
